You are the Captain of your own ship

i will start everything again... my life.. my dream.. my goal of life... nothing to be late. just start everything again.. sun is still bright outside so you still have another chances.. :)

yaALLAH.. berilah kesehatan kepada keluargaku... berilah kesehatan kepada ayah ibuku.. kepada adikku.. kepada tante dan om ku..  yaALLAH.... dengarkanlah pemrohonanku ini..

my nursing profession is almost over. just several months from now, I officially became a nurse, insyaAllah.. after my graduation, what will I do ? of course, i already have plan for myself, for my future... mungkin kalau orientasinya cuma uang, aku enggak akan dapat apa-apa tapi semoga apa yang aku lakukan setelah profesi nanti akan membawa keberkahan dan mengantarkan aku ke cita-cita aku. amin

ya Allah, ada hambamu malam ini.. hamba yangpenuh akan dosa sedang mengemis dihadapanmu.. tuhan... tak banyak inginku yaRabb... hanya tolong jadikan aku seperti apa yang orang tuaku harapkan dan ijinkan mereka melihatku hingga saat itu tiba, sudah .... tolong yaRabb......

yes, i went there by using my motorcycle.. 3 hours from tembalang. lemme tell you a little about this event. this event provide by erasmus+ which held in ugm, jogjakarta. it such an event to invite alumnus ugm from erasmus mundus. and they told us about their experiences during their study in europe. it such an amazing story. i feel so lucky cz i was one of the participants,maybe the only one from semarang.. after attended that seminar, it increase my spirit higher and higher... i am so optimist that i can study abroad. i can study in europe. i am sure ! i put myself in danger using motorcycle. it is so risky ! I almost fell several times, because my own fault, because the road is slippery, due to uneven roads and finally I arrived without any accident! thanks god :') the speakers said that "dont never ever give up", "keep struggling", "keep praying', "keep fighting" mereka aja bisa, kenapa gue enggak ? :') and, i called...

everyone has their memory in the past. no matter it is bad or good memory. i do have. but, what the heck of that? i can do nothing. nothing to do.. it just memory. those are behind i really can do nothing.. what i can do is just accept them as my past.. it just as my lesson for me to grow until now.. what i can do is just doing my best for today and having a dream for the future i dont want to stuck here, regret about my past and finally wasting my time today and destroy my future no.. i dont let it to be happened I myself will struggling so much to make all my dreams come true. and make my parents proud of me and make the best future for my self !

Mimpi gue besaaaaaaaaar banget. Mimpi gue tinggiiiiiiiiii banget. Iya elo semua pada tau, gue pengen banget bisa sekolah di luar negeri... gue pengen di eropa... Jalan kesana engga mudah banget pasti, apalagi anak macam gue.. Toefl yang belum sampai target Bahasa inggris yang pas2an Kemampuan otak yang ga terlalu gemilau Gue yakin ini bakalan butuh proses, Tapi butuh proses bukan berarti ga ada jalan kan ? Lanjut terus sa ! Walau jalan lo berbatu2, berkelok2, nanjak.. lanjut !! Pasti akan sampai sa selama lo teruuuus bergerak.., Insyaallah sa. Insyaallah

one of my friend , mba pita, is going to do Umrah soon. it's about next week. she offered to me the wishes what I want to pray. I will write it in a notes and she will take a photo of it with the Ka'Bah. wah. i was so excited !!! hmm. i will ask three things to Allah 1. I hope i will be there soon, with my dad, my mom, and my brother in 2016 2. I hope I can continue study abroad..wherever that Allah thinks it will be the best one for me in europe in 2016 3. I hope  I can marry soon, :"D dear My Robb. please make it come true... Amiiin :')

last friday night, i thought i had a very very crazy thing. yes, i went to bantul. Bantul is one of the municipalities in Jogja. i went there by my motorcycle. :D i have money, i have time. but i want to use motorcycle. it took 3,5 hours to go there. include twice to refuel, maghrib praying, and time to ask people about the way to go to bantul.. :) I do not think that it would be near, but I do not think that would be so far. it still took one hour from sleman. and for your information it already night when i went there. and anyway, i am not that brave. I realized that it was really scary when traveling at night there are some tracks that do not have street lights, especially the area of Ambarawa to magelang and FINALLY I arrived in batul (after several time i asked my self "Ini kapaaan sampenyaaaa?") waaaahh..  i myself cant believe this.. :D and now i learned one point : "I am not a typical of person that should know everything to go to my destination. I do...

AUSTRALIA. I WILL. InsyaAllah.

many people said that i am a optimist. a person who truly believe in the dream yes they said. but i didn't enggak banyak yang tau, aku hanyalah seorang yang penakut... takut kalau apa yang aku harapkan tidak menjadi kenyataan, takut apa yang aku inginkan hanyalah jauh dari kenyataan... yang ada hanyalah seseorang yang berjuang mati-matian melawan rasa ketidakpercayaan dirinya, melawan rasa takut bahwa akan gagal, membunuh rasa ragu yang bersebrangan dengan apa yang diimpikan... ia betul, aku ragu.. tapi 1 keraguan ini akan ku bunuh dengan 1000 usaha  aku bukan orang yang optimis aku hanyalah seseorang yang berharap. **

lelaki ini cukup menyebalkan, wataknya keras, kemauannya harus selalu iya, sering marah apabila ada hal-hal lain yang tidak sesuai dengan harapannya... aku kenal betul lelaki ini karena aku telah bersamanya selama 21 tahun. tapi dibalik sifat menyebalkannya itu, tersimpan hati kecilnya yang sangat puitih. hati yang membuatnya menjadi pribadi yang diam-diam kukagumi. sosok yang pemberi, sosok yang mudah memaafkan orang lain, sosok yang dapat diandalkan.... memang kita sering sekali bertengkar, mulai dari masalah sepele sampai masalaha yang sangat sepele :p tapi ada dibeberapa kondisi dimana dia adalah lawan bicara yang menyenangkan.. seperti hal nya dua hari yang lalu, dsaat seperti biasa dia mengantarku ke stasiun, kita mengobrol ringan masalah pribadi masing-masing dia dengan kehidupannya dan aku juga dengan kehidupanku dia bertanya beberapa hal klasik kepadaku , masalah cinta, aku menjawab dengan pendapatku... dan dia mengatakan "wah elo mantap juga ya teh...

#1 in 2015, i already came back to my home for about 4 times.. :"D there was something i need to do during i was here no.. i was not in holiday. you cant believe i just came back in weekend. hahaha... #2 my weight is gain so fast.. my body becamebigger and bigger. a bit panic cz of that.. i think i just need an extra diet and do exercise.. it should be :( #3 in four months later, i will finish my profession program. what will i do ? hmm.. maybe i will take short course for increase my english capability... especially in academic writing.. after that i will try to apply for being a lecturer assistance.. after that pray for me, i will apply for master scholarship :") #4 on 22nd April, i am going to take toefl test.. in SEU of course.. after I did postpone it for about one month. next time, i wont run again.. promise.. insyaAllah okeii.. it just all the things I wanna say... good bye.. *preparing to back to Semarang again :")